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Shit my friends say…

This is a page dedicated to shit my friends and I say to each other. Sometimes crass. Sometimes thoughtful. Always better (funnier) out of context.

“I like to get weird.” ~EM

“Just suck it up and join the world of amazing.” ~JF

“This is the lamest thing that has happened in New England since Paul Revere.” ~AM

“I’m soooo happy I took all those shots last night!!! – said no one ever.” ~KB

“I’m tired of being the 3rd wheel in my marriage every Sunday!” ~KG

“ps- I’m still convinced this whole thing could have been avoided if she hadn’t worn her meat dress to the dog park.” ~AM (re: Lady GaGa cancelling her tour)

“I don’t care what kind of fancy title you have… we’ll be butt buddies forever.” -JM

“Bad news: I have no food in my house, so I can’t eat my feelings. Good news: I have wine!” ~EM

“Hipsters are responsible for the downfall of everything. Even the fall of the Roman Empire, you can blame those Roman hipsters. ” ~TV

“I want to lock autocorrect in a shoebox with my farts.” ~EM

“It’s time for you to get back on that horse. And by horse… I mean penis.” ~KG

“I just got more action from my OBG than I have from a man in months. WORST. FOREPLAY. EVER.” ~EM

“I can outrun a seagull in a crustacean speedo. I’d want oyster chain mail.” ~TC

“I don’t think he’s really Jewish. He has no nose.” ~AZ

It’s a merkin…

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Obama: Joe, you see all these memes about you?
Biden: FUCK YEAH.

bidenmeme

 

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