This is a page dedicated to shit my friends and I say to each other. Sometimes crass. Sometimes thoughtful. Always better (funnier) out of context.
“I like to get weird.” ~EM
“Just suck it up and join the world of amazing.” ~JF
“This is the lamest thing that has happened in New England since Paul Revere.” ~AM
“I’m soooo happy I took all those shots last night!!! – said no one ever.” ~KB
“I’m tired of being the 3rd wheel in my marriage every Sunday!” ~KG
“ps- I’m still convinced this whole thing could have been avoided if she hadn’t worn her meat dress to the dog park.” ~AM (re: Lady GaGa cancelling her tour)
“I don’t care what kind of fancy title you have… we’ll be butt buddies forever.” -JM
“Bad news: I have no food in my house, so I can’t eat my feelings. Good news: I have wine!” ~EM
“Hipsters are responsible for the downfall of everything. Even the fall of the Roman Empire, you can blame those Roman hipsters. ” ~TV
“I want to lock autocorrect in a shoebox with my farts.” ~EM
“It’s time for you to get back on that horse. And by horse… I mean penis.” ~KG
“I just got more action from my OBG than I have from a man in months. WORST. FOREPLAY. EVER.” ~EM
“I can outrun a seagull in a crustacean speedo. I’d want oyster chain mail.” ~TC
“I don’t think he’s really Jewish. He has no nose.” ~AZ
Obama: Joe, you see all these memes about you?
Biden: FUCK YEAH.