I am a woman. I am 37 years old. I was with someone for 6 years, best friends with him for 3 before that. I thought he was the love of my life. I know now that he was also someone I never really knew at all. Being with him fundamentally changed who I am as a person. I haven’t decided yet if that is a good or bad thing. Maybe it’s both? It definitely complicates things.
What I do know is that my relationship with him killed me… killed a part of me. It was terrible, it was hurtful and it was abusive – and I accepted it.
That person no longer exists.
I’ve kept a journal since I was 12 years old but, for some reason, I didn’t write about my life with him. Instead, I kept it all inside. So now, what I want to do is share my journey. Not with him but, since him. I will share my stories, ideas and experiences – a lot of which I’m told are worth sharing – and hope that you find something about them entertaining and or enlightening or relatable. I’ve also done a little processing here, so if that’s helpful to someone then I’m happy that I shared it.
This is the story of a girl… starting over after 30 and truly discovering who she is, what she wants and where she belongs in the world. I used to say that this journey began with him – now I say that he was just part of it.