Touching without consent is NEVER OK…

Before I start, you need the backstory to this… Please read this first.

Touching someone without their consent is NEVER ok.

“Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented. This includes rape (such as forced vaginal, anal, or oral penetration), groping, forced kissing, child sexual abuse, or the torture of a victim in a sexual manner.”

This morning I woke up feeling disgusted and saddened to know that we live in a world where a 20-something girl (probably high) thought that it was OK to put her hands on me, a 33 year old woman, last night at the Boston Calling Music Festival because she “just loved my ass” and couldn’t resist. And I’m even more saddened by the reaction of her friends and the Boston police officers who were involved in the situation. If it were a man who had groped me in that manner, unprovoked, in a public setting, he would have been escorted out in handcuffs. I give props to the officers for moving them away from our area and standing guard the rest of the set so that I felt safe but it shouldn’t have taken our pleading and pointing out that I had just been sexually assaulted to do it. The fact that this was a female who grabbed and groped me, unprovoked, should not have made a fucking difference. It doesn’t matter that you’re the same gender as I am. Assault is assault. It’s never OK. EVER.

It’s not FUNNY. It’s not in the name of a GOOD TIME. I don’t give a SHIT if you’re high on Molly, weed or drunk off your ass. No, I’m NOT going to give you a pass because you’re out of your mind fucked up. In no world, in no universe, is it OK for you to lay your hands on ANY PART of my body without my consent and I THANK GOD that my parents taught me the common decency and respect to know that. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. I don’t want you touching me, PERIOD.

Em & Amy Boston Calling

My friend & I earlier in the day. So happy and excited.

I’m thankful for having a great, protective friend who stood up for me in a situation where I felt so violated that I could hardly process what had just happened. After the chaos and confusion of the moment started to pass, I felt overwhelmed. I felt angry. I still feel that girl’s hands on me, and every horrified moment that came after.

An unfortunate ending to what was otherwise a fantastic and happy music-filled day. A day that I paid good money for, to feel safe and not have to worry about unwanted hands groping me unexpectedly. To say I’ll never enjoy a concert the same way again is an understatement. 

Boston Calling Music Fest


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