All-nighter revelations.

I pulled an all-nighter last night. It was the best kind. Unplanned, unexpected and completely wonderful. You know that moment when you know it’s late but you don’t have a true concept of the time until the sun coming up over the horizon bitch slaps you in the face? Yeah. I had that.

I love that.

What does one learn at 5 o’clock in the morning and a black box of red later?

  1. The new neighbors are also night owls (fun!! or… shit!!)
  2. Episodes of ‘My Drunk Kitchen’ [see: make me laugh until I cry, no matter how many times I watch them.

3.  The best advice can come when you least expect it, and from (almost) strangers.

“You deserve someone who’s going to fight for you.”

I deserve someone who’s going to fight for me? Seems simple, yet, why has this not occurred to me before? Or, maybe it has occurred to me but I never really listened because… c’mon. Who really listens to their own advice? Romantic fairy tales and unrealistic expectations are way more fun.

After only the briefest run down of my story (with the ex), and an update on my current state of emotional attachment and relationship fogginess, she spits out that pearl of wisdom. A reality so simple I almost hate it.  But, she’s right.

Regardless of any potential there is for a relationship with someone right now, no matter how compatible I think we are, if the dude isn’t fighting for it… isn’t outright saying every time we’re together that he thinks I’m awesome… then he’s not right for me. She knows my history all of five minutes and knows enough to know that I am complacent and weighed down by the gravity that is my history. It does not occur to me that I deserve more, thus it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Damn it. She’s right. Commence emotional quarantine from current infatuation. It’s just not going to go anywhere.

I deserve a fight.


3 responses to “All-nighter revelations.

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